Leaders of the G8 major economies, meeting in Northern Ireland have reached broad agreement on how to deal with the continuing tragedy of Letitia Dean’s acting in the BBC’s soap-opera ‘Eastenders’, in which she plays the character of Sharon Watts. Problems over Syria, tax-evasion and trade agreements were quickly and easily dealt with, but the Sharon Watts issue looked set to de-rail an otherwise successful summit.
The breakthrough came after Prime Minister David Cameron showed leaders video evidence of Ms Dean’s appalling acting, which to date has led to over 20,000 cases of premature balding from viewers tearing out their hair, 18,000 cases of suicide amongst drama teachers, but a big increase in the sale of sickness and diarrhoea remedies.
Prior to the talks, hopes of agreement were low, especially after US President Barack Obama had dismissed the ‘Sharon conflict’ as a purely British problem; however following the viewings and a long spell in the toilet, the President vowed to “stand shoulder-to-shoulder with our most favoured ally”
In return, the UK will supply the CIA with excerpts of Sharon’s performances dubbed into Arabic for use in Guantanamo Bay, a move condemned by Amnesty International as “Reprehensible” and using a “sledgehammer to crack a nut”
Letitia Dean - Sharon - pictured recently at her talents funeral.
Image 'Letitia Dean' by Gary Wright CC 2.00