Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Going Once..Going Twice..Sold!

Chancellor George Osborne has raised eyebrows in the City by announcing the sale of the Isle of Wight in his Budget Speech.  The Island will go to the highest bidder and any new owner can "do as they please with it" according to the Chancellor.

“This sale marks a new approach to fiscal policy by liquidating assets which will facilitate quantitative-easing shrinkage, thus linking derivatives to inverse exchange rates and all within the scope of EU directive 423b… plus a nasty boy kicked over my sandcastle, whilst on holiday in Shanklin last year”

The Treasury has dismissed criticism that Islanders may object to the sale, pointing out that the majority are barely aware of their own names or what day it is, so the fact the Island has been sold is unlikely to be noticed for decades.  They also claim they have already received numerous enquiries from potential bidders, rumoured to be from Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Group, Tesco  and Madonna, who is keen for a new allotment. The current front-runner however, is believed to be from an Argentine registered company called “Malvinas Enterprises Ltd”

City Experts Believe The Sale Of The Isle of Wight, Could See Treasury Coffers Swell By As Much As £8.47.

Image CC Attribution 2.5

1 comment:

  1. Acolyte of Sagan20 March 2013 16:41

    Now that's what I call perfect timing. I know of a possible consortium that may register an interest;